and to the worshiping community.

This guide is meant to help you when you are faced with the decision:

Should we hold the service for our loved one

in the church sanctuary, or in another location?

Here are some considerations to help you decide what is right for your family’s needs.

• The church service is about giving thanks to God for your loved one’s life.
• Ordinarily, the church’s worship and music staff are the leaders of the service. The family may speak with the church musician about inviting special friends or family members to provide some additional music.
• As we believe God provides what is necessary for appropriate worship, we rely on the musicians present to provide music, and we do not use pre-recorded music or video. In the same way, we use only fresh flowers, as opposed to artificial.
• The service in the church sanctuary will not be the time to invite everyone who wishes to do so to speak. The pastor may, however, invite one special friend or family member to provide some words of remembrance.
• Military and other civic ceremonies and honors are to be held outside the sanctuary, perhaps at the graveside or another meaningful location.

Giving Thanks to God

This being a service of worship, although your loved one’s life is the cause for this moment, it is primarily about giving thanks to God for your loved one, and commending that person to God’s eternal care.

The church service commonly called a funeral or memorial service is formally called a “Service of Witness to the Resurrection.” It is a worship service and, in our sanctuary, is Christian in character. All people of other denominations or faiths, or even of no faith, are entirely welcome, and should feel completely at ease. Please know that it is not this church’s practice to use anyone’s time of mourning as an opportunity to proselytize, pontificate, or pound the pulpit.

Your family is welcome to hold this service in our church even if your departed loved one was not part of this or any church. We regard this not as a time for judgment or condemnation, but for loving prayers on his or her behalf, and appropriate grieving and healing for the family.

In most cases, photographs and other meaningful mementos may be placed on the communion table in the sanctuary.

Speakers and Participants

Ordinarily we refrain from having an open speaking arrangement where anyone who feels moved to do so is invited or allowed to speak. The pastor will do his or her best to choose scripture passages and music, and provide prayers and spoken meditations, appropriate to the life of your loved one. In some cases, the pastor may invite someone from among your friends and family to deliver a eulogy. In any case, the pastor (or “minister”) will solicit your input in the days leading up to the service about your loved one’s personality and biography, and any Bible passages or songs that he or she may have particularly treasured.

Similarly, our church musician is normally the first option for providing music. She or he will provide prelude music, a musical meditation during the service, and postlude music. Ordinarily only sacred music is used in the sanctuary, although the minister may approve secular selections that reflect the values of the worship service.

It is our Presbyterian church’s practice not to use pre-recorded music in the sanctuary. If there are special recordings that were of particular importance to your loved one, perhaps they can be played on the sound system in the fellowship hall before or after the worshipers enter the sanctuary. Similarly, we use only “real” flowers (as opposed to artificial) in the sanctuary.

If you and your family are not members of our congregation, please remember the professional time that the worship leaders commit to this important service, and both the costs and the volunteer efforts put forth by our congregation to hold the service here. Please see our Wedding Guidelines for non-members for an idea of customary honoraria for speakers, musicians, etc., and gifts to the church. Gifts to participants in the service can be made payable directly to each individual person. A contribution to the church may be made to “CBPC.” We thank you for your thoughtfulness.

Summarizing: Your family’s needs in this time of loss may be met by a Service of Witness to the Resurrection in our sanctuary, or your needs may be better met by holding other kinds of services elsewhere. The most important thing is that you feel a sense of peace and comfort with your decision. We are honored to be here to help you make decisions that will bring as much ease as possible to this painful time. Please do not hesitate to call on us if we can be of service to you in any way in your time of need.

Updated August 6, 2010